I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
