We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
