i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
