Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
