U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
