First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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