she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
