# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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