The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
