I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
