im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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