I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
love makes seman taste better
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize