is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
