Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think I am morally bankrupt
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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