Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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