I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
