I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
