CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
