Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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