i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
