The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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