I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
