standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
