Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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