Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have fence marks all over my body
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
