I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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