White coat. Heels.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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