Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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