Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
