I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
