So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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