Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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