Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
