i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
