On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
