At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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