youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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