so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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