hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
