Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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