I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
