Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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