i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
