I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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