I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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