Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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