Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
