My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
