I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
