I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
