this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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