Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
