this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
