It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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