last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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