So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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