I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He? As in you personified your dick?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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