Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
