I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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