Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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