Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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