definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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