Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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